How does one begin to review Orchid?
Review with irony, or without?
No. I will take my cue from this scene from some movie whose title I don’t want to write out, and riff on this question, one very very similar to the one on which they did riff….
You know how I know Orchid are metal?
They’re Electric Wizard if they worshiped a slightly lighter dark God….
Because they are so close to being a Black Sabbath cover band without actually being one, yet a band wildly-ecstatically inspired by one, that their performances and recorded material verge on performance art… on shamanistic pagan ritual*….
Because Ozzy Osbourne’s hair is not greasy enough for them: they go on Ebay and buy locks of his hair from the early 70s, wring out the oil and brush their teeth with it, because that’s soap to them, man… they’re that funky, in both the George Clinton and the CDC sense….
“Mouths of Madness,” a generic if rousing rockish opener, “Marching Dogs of War,” boring filler (even great albums like Vol. 4 had filler, now though, come on…), but “Silent One,” is another Orchid gem here… “Mountains of Steel,” very COC-circa-Pepper-Keenan… “Leaving It All Behind,” just no, you fucking hippies… “Loving Hand of God,” (great title) sounds like the Doors, of all stoner metal bands. At first? Annoying. After a few listens, though, it’s pretty DamnedGod awesome.
“See You on the Other Side,” sounds like, really really Sabotage, dude: you totally know that they know that, man… it’s like Megadeth’s “502” flavored by Trouble’s 1989 masterpiece….
*You know how I know I’m gay? Because I used the phrase “Shamanistic Pagan Ritual.”